Well, look at this, a fresh new blog, ready to be filled with my emotional junk. It's a bit like looking out onto the pristine snow after a blizzard and thinking: I'm gonna go jump in that! I'm gonna make snow angels, chase the dogs, bury the kids, throw snowballs at the husband and sing loudly when the neighbours complain. Of course, if it's anything like most of my life projects, and indeed most of my experience with snow, it will be fun for five minutes, then I'm going to get cold and bored and go see what's on TV, but, you never know. I am trying to do something important here, so hopefully I will stick with it.
I am the Weird Mom. It's actually official, my friend tells me that's what the other parents at nursery used to call me. Actually, I am the Weird English Mom, as I live in Portugal and my kids go to local school, but still, you know, it's slightly scary that that is actually how people think of me. I don't mind being different. I've always been different and I actively seek out differentness, but weird? What makes me weird? My shoes match, I don't mind stepping on the cracks in the pavement and I don't look at your left ear when I'm speaking to you. Unless you've got something going on with your left ear, of course. I have some awesome dragon earcuffs I wear on my left ear, feel free to stare at them. Would be rude not to.
I am also a Christian, and have been for some time. Nowadays I am the warden of my local church. Mostly because no one else would do it, of course, but I was touched, and mildly surprised, when instead of laughing and telling me they'd get back to me when I offered myself, the then current warden actually hugged me and tried not to cry. What, I wondered, what I getting myself into? Now I know, and I am a richer person for it. It's great to be able to give back to the people who have helped me in so many ways over the years.
Lastly, and most importantly for this blog, I suffer from a rare condition called Lipid Lipase Deficiency, or LPLD. Or at least, it is at the moment. I am known for veering off course very easily - example - Today I got up to get a document to sort out some healthcare. As I left the desk (in the kitchen) I boiled the kettle and poured some water to let the tea steep. Went into the lounge, noticed that I hadn't changed the turtle's water. Back into the kitchen to fill a jug. Five mins to find the jug. Walking back past the kettle, realise teabag is still in cup. Rescue it. Notice empty fish tank and wonder if turtle would like a change of scenery. Take fish tank into lounge, transfer turtle. Watch turtle in obsessive fascination for five minutes. Return to kitchen, notice next door neighbour having some sort of tussle with my dogs. Go to front yard to assess situation, she is trying to keep the dogs off the plate of fish she has put down for (our) cat. Discuss merits of putting food for cat on table in her yard rather than floor of mine. Discuss cuteness level of my animals. Back into kitchen, realise tea is now cold. Put tea in microwave (I don't take milk, it's fine). Grab a snack and tea and sit down at desk. Sign back into windows, open browser, remember that I had got up to get a document.
Where was I?
Oh yes, LPLD. Basically I can eat no fat. Rather like Jack Sprat, except my taste tendencies lean more towards his robust wife. I have an enzyme deficiency that means I cannot process fat so I need to keep it under 20g a day. I have been like this since birth, causing my parents no end of hassle and resulting in a deep seated hatred of cooking on my mother's part. I have cheated my way through a large portion of my life, balancing carefully on the fence between ok and ill. (I won't go into the early symptoms of overindulging, think it through, it's a digestive thing.) Now, however, rather like a lifetime smoker or drinker, I am beginning to worry that maybe I should try to undo some of the damage, on the basis that I'm not going to be high up on the liver transplant list if it's my own goshdarn fault that I need one. I have had a few incidents lately that I will divulge in different posts, as you are surely getting bored by now by this one, but the gist is that I need to overhaul my diet and feel better. Maybe I can do this better if you lot are all watching and judging me.
So, introductions are over, the work begins. This blog is a food diary, recipe book, therapy session and occasional sulking corner for me. It's a new month, nearly a new year and I'm hoping for a new me. Stay tuned.
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